Please excues typos on Blog

Since we have been in the Hospice home we are unable to access the wireless internet...as a result there will be mistakes and typos on the blog since we are posting from a cell phone keyboard. We hope that you are still able to understand the message and stay up to date on what is going on as this is what we intend this blog to be for. Thanks!

Mom had a unusually good night, which we are very grateful for. She slept very sound and comfortable and was even able to try a couple of bites of french toast this morning. She has been resting more frequently and a lot deeper than she was yesterday.

We have heard questions regarding a timeline quite frequently lately and it just makes one think how relative time can be. It seems to be so precious, yet taken for granted so easily. We are considering our short time a precious blessing and have seen the Lord extend many tender mercies our way the last couple of days. I think we will be considered fortunate to extend these sweet moments until Monday. So the phrase ''Take the time that you have been GIVEN and run with it'' that was imprinted on t-shirts for the whole family in honor of mom has taken on a whole new meaning.

Unfortunately mom did not have a very good night or morning. She is in one of the Hospice units now (off Val Vista and 202 south, Lund Facility). They are in the process of getting things more comfortable for her. It seems as though the toxins in her body in conjunction with the medication are taking a tole on her memory and lucidity. It is difficult for her to carry on a conversation and her visits are becoming shorter and less frequent. Although she is sleeping a lot when she is awake she is a bit of a ham. She keeps everyone smiling as she tries to explain and make sense of her dreams. she is hoping that she has one more opportunity to eat some lobster...she said that she has been trying to catch one all morning ;)

Time is short but she has sure put up a great fight. We are so grateful for the time she has had and the meaningful visits that she has been able to have with so many over the last 2 1/2 months!

Moment by Moment

Mom is taking one hour at a time. She had a good evening yesterday but the night did not go quite as well. She is beginning to show signs of both the liver and kidneys being effected. She is sleeping more often than not and has become very weak. Right now she is on a waiting list to go into one of Hospice's care units where they will be able to better care for some of mom's immediate needs and discomforts. The stay in the unit can vary in duration from a couple of days to a couple of weeks, depending on the patient's needs. The overall goal in the unit/home is to get mom more comfortable and things regulated in order to get her back to her own home. If at anytime she decides that she wants to leave and go back home she has the liberty to do that. We are hoping that with around the clock care she will not have to enduring anymore harsh nights like last night was.

An Update

What a wonderful Easter weekend! Mom was able to enjoy her family, except for her two grandsons on missions of course. It was all about the food, family and faith as usual. What a great day she was able to have with the family.

However, over the last couple of days mom's physical condition and strength has weakened greatly. It has become extremely difficult for her to get around and do simple tasks. At a visit today, her doctor explained that her jaundice is increasing which indicates the cancer is probably compromising her liver function (to put it delicately). He was able to make adjustments to her pain pump in hopes to stay ahead of any and hopefully all discomfort to come.

She was able to have family around her last night as she received a precious priesthood blessing given by a loving husband. How tender it has been to watch the love my dad has for her. I will forever cherish witnessing their love and compassion for each other over the last couple of months.

"My Miracle"

I have wanted to post this for quite a few weeks now and for some reason or another have not been able to finish it.

Back in January when the doctors were trying to figure things out mom worried quite a bit about one person in particular, Jake, one of her grandsons on a mission. He left to serve his mission in Brazil back in August. However, due to delays in travel visas he was only able to get there the first of January. He was just getting his feet on the ground and was going through an adjustment time, as I imagine most missionaries do. Mom's worry was that this was going to blow him away and since he was still getting his feet wet in a foreign country he would want to come home and then ultimately not return.

Mom prolonged informing his mission president about the severity of the situation until we knew for certain that things were definitely going to go in this direction. That day came the morning of mom's surgery to implant her pain pump. A very sweet tender conversation was had between a loving grandmother and a faithful servant of the Lord. There were definite tears shared among everyone in the room for the spirit just burned within everyone. How tender the Lord's spirit is! Here this young man, in shock himself, was trying to comfort his grandma and grandpa. When the conversation was over mom expressed, "Now there was my miracle." Indeed she received a miracle! Not one of a physical nature, as we all hoped for, but none the less a true miracle from the Lord. She knew Jake's heart had changed and he was beginning to rely on the Lord. Mom felt peace that Jake, along with the rest of her loved ones, would be well. What a testament to her strength and faith to be able to recognize the Lord's great hand in this situation, when her heart's desires were of a different outcome. What an example she is to so many around her.

Following are some of Jake's sweet, insightful words he wrote to mom after their conversation... "I have been studying a lot about faith and miracles that can happen. I was talking with my mission president and miraculously I understood everything he said in Portuguese. He was telling me of miracles that were physically impossible to happen but with faith and God's will he made them happen. I really hope this situation pulls those that are struggling with faith closer together. That's the only way our family will make it through this. ...I know through faith and hope that I will be okay and grandma will be too. She is gonna be so happy... She has family on both sides waiting with open arms! ... I am so grateful for all grandma and grandpa have done. Grandpa, you and grandma are examples to more people than I think you realize..."

How grateful I am to know that this is not a forever goodbye that it is only until we meet again.

A Night of Memories

Last night Pat and Buddy sat down by one another and we filmed them telling "Their Story". They talked about where they were born, raised, how they met, the birth of their kids and a whole slew of funny stories along the way! We recorded them talking until the memory cards could hold no more! It was so neat to see that sparkle in Pat's eyes as she spoke of her love for her husband, her kids and grandkids. She is such a warm and loving individual. Although the cancer may be causing deterioration to her physical frame her spirit is still strong and her love continues to spill out towards all around her! It was such a special night that we will all treasure...and the videos will be a great treasure for everyone!

A Beautiful Spring Morning

Yesterday (Wednesday), Pat had the carpets professionally cleaned in the house. She was worried about where she should sit while they cleaned, because the furniture from all the carpeted rooms were strategically placed along the wood floors up and down the hallway right on into the kitchen. Those of us who are easily mobile were having a hard time inching by all the obstacles! Her hospital bed and all the extra "visitors' chairs" from her bedroom were moved into the bathroom so she was unsure as to where to put her body. After some deliberation she decided that she would go outside for a bit to try to stay out of the way :)

She sat out on the front porch under a big shade tree in her wheelchair from about 11AM-1PM. We all watched the little kids pull each other around in the wagon and the neighbors all stopped by to say hello and visit with Pat for a while. We would continuously ask, Are you feeling alright? And she would always respond with, Yes, I'm just wondering how different it's going to be in heaven. We are so accustomed to this world we live in...I just wonder what it's going to be like. She also said that if there is no lobster or good fish in heaven that she'd have to come back! We are all going to hold her to that! She truly enjoyed being outside and repeatedly commented on how beautiful the weather was! We are grateful for this beautiful spring morning that made for such a special day with Pat!

Can't get this lady down!

I have found it difficult to post this past week as Pat's strength has been rapidly dwindling . She is an amazing woman and although she is walking through one of life's most difficult physical trials she continues on with a smile and great courage. She has been enjoying her days watching home videos that Cindy just transferred from her video camera to DVDs. She relives great memories and finds joy in watching her kids, grandkids and great grandkids as they perform in talent shows, celebrate birthday parties, welcome home returned missionaries and the list goes on and on and on (for hours!!!!)! We have printed and displayed all of the most recent family portraits that we had taken last month in the family room, the kitchen, Pat's bedroom and even her bathroom :) Everywhere she goes she can see her favorite pictures! Anyone that knows Pat knows that she is crazy about pictures! We counted 24 pictures that she has displayed in her bedroom! She takes such great pride in each member of the family! Tonight the doctor increased the frequency of her nausea cream that she rubs on her arm and she is excited and hoping that she will feel up to eating some sweet shrimp tomorrow for lunch! She truly knows how to find joy in ALL things! Meanwhile she is enjoying her vanilla forever lites with frozen strawberries. Everytime we bring her a cup of it she takes that first sip and looks at the maker of the shake and says "mmmm, this is SO good" as if it were her first time trying a new recipe that you slaved over for hours! This lady is sure easy to please! She is staying strong and continuing on with faith...as usual! She is a ROCK! Everytime someone comes to visit she does not let them leave without expressing to them her knowledge and testimony of the importance of families and reminding them to stay close to the Lord. She guarantees that she will be close by even when she is gone. She says, when you feel that overwhelming spirit of warmth and peace you will know...that is me! She leaves all her visitors with heartwarming hugs and gentle tears as she knows this will be her last opportunity to embrace friends who have supported her for a lifetime. Thank you for the hundreds of prayers on her behalf and to EVERYONE who has been sending flowers, cards, letters, meals and stopping by to visit! You will never know how much this lifts her spirits and carries her through rough days and painful hours! The simplest gestures make the biggest impact. Thank you!

Curbside Service

Curbside service took on a whole new meaning this past weekend! On Saturday Pat's pain had not gotten any better so Dr. Stearns said that she would be at the Scottsdale Hospital and if Pat could be there at noon she would meet her downstairs and adjust her pump. So, we loaded up as quickly as possible and drove out to Scottsdale. When we arrived there we called the doctor and she told us to pull into the pick-up area and she would meet us at the curb. Within 5 minutes she walked out with a little handheld gadget that looked similar in shape and size to what Fedex has you sign at the front door when delivering a package. She asked Pat a few questions and as she was making changes in her handheld device Pat looked at her and said is it doing it now?? The doctor couldn't help but get a good chuckle in and she let us know that she was just making changes in her device but she would soon be updating Pat's pump. Then she finished and held her gadget up to the pump that is in Pat's stomach for about 10 seconds and said Okay now, that should take effect in about 9 hours. If this doesn't help call us again tomorrow so that we can try again! We could not believe it! They truly treat Pat as if she was their only patient. They are all so kind and concerned not only with pain control, but the quality of life that Pat has and striving to keep Pat as independent and alert as possible for as long as possible! They really are an amazing team of doctors!

Hoping the weekend treats her kindly!

The last 3 days the pain that was in Pat's back started moving down her leg. She is having difficulties getting up and down and walking around. The doctor was hoping that the adjustments made to the pain pump would be able to help with this, but it has not improved. We talked to the doctor about this on Friday night and she gave Pat a new recipe of pain meds to try to ease the pain to get her through the weekend until we could get back in the office on Monday. However, the new meds are not making a difference so the doctor said that she would see Pat today to adjust her pump and get her more comfortable! We are excited that she is going to see Pat on a Saturday. This pain clinic and the doctors there have been such a great blessing. They are so willing to help out and try to improve the quality of life of their patients. They are the doctors you see in the office, they are the on call doctors and they even said that they are willing to make house calls with a few days notice when it becomes too difficult to transport Pat to the office! We are hopeful that the weekend will bring Pat more comfort!

Lovin' on Grandma

Payzlie just can't help but grab a blanket and cuddle up everytime she sees Grandma on the couch. Yesterday the two of them sat on the couch together and laughed and played while Payzlie rubbed her cheeks up against grandma's arms, clapped on her hands and just had fun with her. How fun it is to see these precious moments!

Hanging in There!

Pat is continuing to have her ups and downs. Today she went to the Pain Clinic to have more meds put in her pain pump. This has been such a blessing for her. The pain pump releases medication on a regular basis. When she's experiencing more pain than the pump takes care of the doctor gave her a little remote that she holds up to her skin (where the pump was put in) and she presses a button on her remote and it signals the pump to release more medication! Lately she has had to use the remote more frequently so her doctor wanted to make some adjustments to the pump so that her pain will be more controlled. So in a matter of a few hours today she was able to go in, have the pump emptied and refilled with pain and nausea meds and now she is on her way home. Hopefully this will help her feel more comfortable throughout the coming weeks. Thank you for all of your prayers and uplifting comments. This truly brightens Pat's spirits and helps her through her tough days.

Glitches with the Comments

We just found out today that there have been people trying to leave comments, but unable to do so. After tinkering with the settings today I think the glitch has been fixed. So, please leave your comments and remember if you do not have any of the optional profile accounts select "Anonymous" and be sure to leave your name at the end of your comment so that Pat will know who you are. She looks forward to hearing from you!

Happy Sunday!

This has been a sweet weekend. Although Pat is still working through hard times, she has truly enjoyed all the visits she has been receiving. Thank you to so many that have brought by beautiful floral arrangements, tear jerking cards and warm embraces of love and encouragement as Pat struggles through these times. She continues to be a beacon of hope to all around her as she endures each day with faith knowing that the best is yet to come.